The Phenomenology of Love: A Reflection

Love has always been a complex topic among people. It cannot be understood by many; man only recognizes it when he has already encountered it in life. Of course love can be viewed in different perspectives. It can be perceived as a love coming from one’s family, from one’s peers and friends and from a certain person he shares a special kind of love with.


But what is love? To begin my reflection, I start with a simple opinion I came up with; I referred to the passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 discussing the concept of love. As I recall the passage, I now see love as a collection of values leading to pure goodness.


One of my favorite quotes is from St. Augustine: “Restless is my heart, ‘til it rests in thee.”. Because love for God is unconditional and infinite, God is the only one who can provide the perfect love that the heart is longing and searching for. For some people, the love of God is enough, while some are still in search for another kind of love.


A parent’s love for his child is characterized by a will to protect him, to keep him safe, to care for him and nurture him. It is also unconditional, as a parent loves his children because they are his own. I can say that I have a family who loves me; I have a family who made me who I am today. They taught me the meaning of love through care, warmth and sacrifice – care through nurturance, warmth through an offering of open arms, and sacrifice through their hard work.


A heart that is empty, unfilled and restless seeks out a different kind of love, a love that is deeper and nearly unspeakable. This kind of love is provided by another person viewed as the missing puzzle piece, one that could complete the puzzle that is the person and make him whole again. It happens by chance, a reason to believe in destiny and the will of God. This love leads to the abandonment of loneliness that is characterized by boredom.


There is no concrete definition of love, because for me, love cannot be thoroughly defined. All I know is this, the heart is very fragile. It is the person’s ‘everything’, giving it would mean giving everything. Losing it would mean losing everything, breaking a heart would mean breaking a person, leaving him nothing but a silhouette of a heart and transforming him into an empty person.


Love is a famed four-letter word that is mistakenly overused by many. Love is more than the characterization of a person. If that were so, you seek the qualities and not the person. Loving is giving, loving is trusting; giving the person the power to break us, while trusting them not to. Love between two persons is developed through close relations, and the realization of mutual intimate feelings.


So what is love? As I have said, love doesn’t need defining because feelings cannot be simply described by words. Though I am sure about one thing; love is something that makes you happy, a reason to laugh because you have already found the answer to the equation of life minus the loneliness. It is a reason to smile because you already found the one willing to share their self and their love with you.  Loving is facing your fears of being hurt together; loving is fighting for love itself together. Love is something that completes you and makes you a whole person again. Love is a deep, unexplainable feeling that never ceases to bring out the best in you.